A great Love

I have been inspired to live a life of LOVE like never before. I'm reading a very intense, very inspiring book called Present Perfect by Gregory Boyd.  I read it in bits and pieces off my iphone and try to let the words sink in.

See others through God's eyes

I choose to look at people through God, using God as my glasses colored with His love for them.

--Frank Laubach as quoted in Present Perfect

Paul says nothing matters except having a faith that is energized by, and characterized by, love (Galatians 5:6) All the law and the prophets hang on living in this love 
(Matthew 22:37-40)

But the author (rightly) points out that we tend to love those who reciprocate it, or we love those who have something to offer us in terms of worth and security.  True, sacrificial love comes from loving the unloved and--dare I say it--our enemies. That is a different, not so fun, thing.

Here is what I'm learning:  When I remember I have all the acceptance and love I will ever need from Jesus Christ, I am full. This world cheats me and makes me forget that I really am OK, even without the new Spring 2012 collection from Aeropostle.  It is extremely difficult to remember because my flesh so often wants to rule my thoughts and emotions, but I really am 100% loved and accepted as I am.  When I remember this (living what I believe in faith) , I can then focus all my attention on loving others, rather than comparing myself to them, or feeling offended when they weren't nice to me.

I can only live a life ruled by LOVE when I remember that I am LOVED as well. I hope you know how much this idea can change your life.

Some action point ideas I have:

God loves this guy (and I love that bread)

1. Smile a lot. Too many blank faces and iphone screen absorbed humans out there. Show 'em your eyes, people! It's like seeing a written letter from your child, scribbled in pencil after a day full of Times New Roman computer text. Simple human contact--it is the best.
 

2. When you have a complimentary thought about someone, tell them. SAY IT. It will build them up, and encourage them. We are all too often afraid of being lesser than someone else, we withhold blessing so we can all stay down in the pit together--no one better than another. A fairly pitiful situation.

3.  Take a few minutes to prepare things to help others.  In the past, we have prepared grocery bags with food to give away to the needy when they came to the door. I put in some fun reading material, too--hoping they could read.  When bags weren't already made, and when the needs came, it made me feel irritated that someone was bothering me in the midst of my busy life. (sad, but true)  With my husband's urging, I made more grocery bags again today. Maybe I'll even put one in the car to keep under the seat for when I'm out and about, which is practically 80% of my day. Now that the bags are made, I'm looking for the opportunity to give them out.  Same with old clothes--once they are bagged and categorized, I'm looking for a place to distribute them.

God loves this man

 

4.   Ask people good questions and really listen for the answers.  Is there something else they want to say as well? Are they depressed or sad and afraid to admit it? Is there a follow up question that needs to be asked? My husband is the best at this. I have learned that I have far to go in this area of showing love. Not my strength....Lord, help me.

God loves this boy and his sticky lollipop hands in the eye clinic

5. Be willing to serve.  Some people go on service projects to donate their talents or time for the needy. I encourage us all to find ways to serve others in our community and around the world. I could go on and on about this passion in my heart.

This kind of daily, sacrificial love might really take me some time to embrace, but I shall be trying.  However, pure dogged effort will eventually die away like a diet plan.  OK.  Well then, You and I can be transformed by our belief that God has loved us (John 3:16).

Transformation stays. Zealous effort does not.

Through transformation, we can begin to reject our flesh that says "That person is your enemy. They don't love you. Walk away.. Don't be nice to them. Retaliate." And we don't have to be so self-absorbed and needy that we only love others to meet our own needs for acceptance and worth.  We already have all the worth we could ask for in the eyes of God. This great Love is my motivation.

Awesome white cake --that is, if you like delicious

Are you ready to 'up' your cake making abilities? I wanted to make a great vanilla/white choc cake for my friend's birthday, so I turned to allrecipies.com.   I love easy help like that! CLICK---I searched for a cake mix extender, meaning I add stuff to a box mix and make it bigger and better.  The reviews were great, so I tried it. I was wanting a cake that would be yummy, and  also be easy to flip out of the pan for decoration.  I found it.
I made it for the party, doubling it to make enough for 40 or 50 people. Everyone said it was delicious, so I wanted to share the recipe.  It was super easy and fun to make a great cake with ease.

Behold. I bring you---

White Almond Wedding Cake

• 1 (18.25 ounce) package white cake mix
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 cup white sugar
• 3/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 1/3 cups water
• 1 cup sour cream
• 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 1 teaspoon almond extract
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 4 egg whites

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Grease and flour an 11x13 inch cake pan.( I used a large round non stick pan. Crisco then flour)
2. Stir together the white cake mix, flour, sugar, and salt in a large bowl until well mixed. Pour in the water, sour cream, vegetable oil, almond and vanilla extracts, and egg whites, and beat with an electric mix on low until all the ingredients are mixed and moistened but some lumps still remain, 4 minutes.( I just mixed well with a fork)
3. Pour the batter into the prepared cake pan, and bake in the preheated oven until the top is a light golden brown and a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean, about 25 minutes. Allow to cool before frosting. ( I let it cool, eased it away from the edges with a knife and turned it upside down to slowly drop out on the platter.  Even if it doesn't come out perfectly from the pan, patch it together and the icing will cover your broken cake)

 

My icing--

• 1/2 cup crisco, butter flavor or regular  (I have made it with all crisco or all butter as well. The blend gives the best texture and flavor)
• 1/2 cup butter, room temperature
• 1-2 tsp vanilla flavoring 
• optional 1 tsp almond flavoring
• 4 -4 1/2 cups powdered sugar. ( I start with 2 cups, then add milk alternating to achieve consistency)
• 5-6 TBSP milk--adding more or less for consistency

1. First, mix the crisco/butter with hand mixer for blending and consistency. 
2. Next, add flavorings.
3. Begin by adding 2 cups of the powdered sugar and 3-4 TBSP milk, mixing with hand mixer
4. Lastly, add the remaining 2+  cups of sugar and 2-3 more TBSP of milk.  
5. Tweak it as you feel the need.  It ain't written in stone.

For this cake, I put fresh strawberries between the layers for color and flavor.  Then the idea came to me to put a ring of berries around the cake. It helped hide the icing blunders and added color and flavor. Yes!

I hope you put this to use and enjoy it. I have made it 3 times now, but this effort was the biggest yet.

Shepherding

I have been delaying writing. Embarrassed to put into print how uninspiring I feel right now.

Then I thought---

Whatever. Spill your beans.
This is the real deal. A Simple life.

Wake up.
Hit snooze button once, maybe
Stumble to kitchen.
Prepare sandwiches and lunches for the "princesses" as my Mom calls them. I say--humans that live with me when it is early in the AM and they won't roll out of bed.
Try to brush the little girls' hair and remove the bed-head look.
Play soft worship music.
Prepare school bags for the day.
Eat breakfast, most often cereal, but sometimes homemade muffins. On those days, the baking happens right after the "stumble to kitchen" part.  It isn't pretty.
Start coffee.
Remind them to make their beds and pick up the PJs that are on the floor. (Seriously, I say it everyday)
Encourage bible reading time or quiet listening to the music playing
Get 'em out the door with a smile.
Encourage the occasional straggler that is cramming books into her backpack that her day will be blessed.  "We are praying for you, honey!"

One hour of my day is now finished.

I don't love this morning routine, but adding the praise music playing on the ever-convenient iPhone allows us to have an underlying peace in the kitchen as we all gather in various states of consciousness and happiness. The praise music blesses me, at least, and then I can be less of a grump for them.  

Less of a grump, you see how honest I am? This is no sunny-side-up blogger you have here.

We are "encouraging" bible reading and quiet music soaking time. We were doing a group bible study, led by faithful Daddy, but the kids were too quickly zoning out in the 7 am study. Yeah, I can't come down too hard on them either. Even if you like what is being said, it is hard to focus on someone else talking at 7 am. Still knowing we needed to do something to remind them that the day ahead isn't all about the world around us, but about God as well, we began plain ol' "quiet time".

With all that is in me, I am trying not to push them into time with God as a duty on the morning check list, right after making the bed, but rather, after experiencing it as life-giving, hoping they will seek it out on their own.

My goal is to facilitate this time and provide a soft spot to land. I am their mother, not their spiritual boss. As much as I would like to tell them what to do, I cannot, in the end, control their relationship with God.  Just like I can't control their relationship with friends. I can't tell them how to be polite or loving, but I can show them by example and we can correct actions that we see. They must choose, but I can guide and lead by example. And pray for them, of course. Some people call this Shepherding.

I am realizing that I can't control their actions, even though I want them to be great young ladies. I can't holler at  them-- HEY, get in here and READ YOUR BIBLE! and have that count as a quiet time that connects with God. It may make me feel better about my mothering, knowing I've worked in a quiet time for them that day, but it may not do anything to increase their love for God. Perhaps, it could instill a bitterness about a quiet time. And, I never would never want to be a stumbling block. Someone might tie a millstone around my neck and drown me. (If you don't understand this, I'm sorry for the crude reference)

I waffle over these options : Do I set up bible time and ask them to follow it out of obedience and hope the heart follows it? Or, do I encourage the heart of love for God and hope that the routine of daily bible and quiet time overflows from that?

I don't claim to know the answer, and I suppose we have a mixed jury on the results out there, but I am going to say for now that I am trying to facilitate the heart of love for God by creating the space in the day, but letting my child develop her own path.We do the practical helps: play music, provide bibles, help remind them it is time, encourage journaling, and provide interesting devo websites or books. But they fill out their time. Then, it is truly their journey and their relationship with God. Not Mom and Dad's God that they are trying to follow.

God is the Father of the children that live in my house.
My husband and I are the pastors along the journey.
Father calls them and leads them.
We guide and shepherd.
And cook, and clean, and ferry them around, and wipe noses.
It is an honor to be a Shepherdess

More than just smiling eyes

Is that Osama Bin Laden driving that Jeep?
Yes, I actually thought that, but I really didn't mean it.
What I meant was "A guy with a head scarf (hatta) and longish beard is driving that vehicle, which just happens to be a jeep."

He is most likely a great man, and not a terrorist.
I used to be surprised when people looking like this would smile or be polite.
 

Even closer to my heart, are those ladies wearing black veils.  Today, I was reminded how normal and precious they are.  I was blessed to visit an veiled American Arab woman today in her family's home city in Jordan.  She met my American friend while in Texas, and now she is in Jordan visiting her family.  One word: sweetheart.

Also, on this visit was a friend who is new in the country.  She hasn't met many Arab ladies, yet, but is destined to meet many more.  So this veiled woman, we'll call Angela, greets us with smiling eyes--for that is all we can see of her at this point. When we got settled, she pulled her veil up, revealing her round, happy  face, so that we ladies could talk together. We laughed, got to know each other, found some similarities and a possible new friendship.  We sipped strong coffee with sugar. We exchanged phone numbers and hope to see Angela again in America or in Jordan.  After goodbye hugs, she put down her veil, adjusted the eye openings, and headed down to the street a faceless young mother.

As we drove away, my friend who is new to the country made a wonderful observation:
Angela is just like us. A young mother. A friend. A laughing girl who loves to visit others. A young bride ready to go back to her husband. Seeking happiness and joy.
We felt honored that she would let us know the 'real' her, not keeping her veil down any longer than she had to.

Many people who dress like this are asked to do so by their family, and some by their own conviction.  Either way, they truly are normal people underneath the veil or behind the beard.  They have beliefs that guide their social behavior, but still human. I have beliefs that guide my behavior, too.

I believe that sometimes a smile and kindness blesses immensely.
I believe that we can adapt our behaviors to accommodate others.
I believe that we can influence others with our encouraging words, and the advice we give.

These days, I try to smile and greet as many veiled women as I can (wearing a niqaab). Sometimes, I can see their eyes smile like with Angela today. I often wonder if these faceless women are socially ignored or avoided due to the ---I will be honest--slightly frightening appearance of all the black veils. We figure they are unreachable, since we can't see them behind the veils.

Phooey--Malarkey--and all those other nonsense words.

I also cannot see you, but here I am speaking to you, because I want to communicate my heart and mind to you. What do you want to communicate to them? I want to communicate love and acceptance.

Let's remember, like my new friends reminded me today, that behind the veil is a woman, like me.
She wants friends and wants to smile, too.
And that Jeep guy just wanted to get to the traffic light.

The ever-losing comparison game

A wise young man that lives with me once said:

Comparison is a game where the other person doesn't even know they are playing and you still can't win.

His name is Trey and I love him. But that isn't the point...

Can you imagine the damage we do to ourselves with the constant comparisons we make with one another? We always lose. Even if we make ourselves "win" by being the on the smarter/more talented/better kids/better job side in the comparison battle, the judging was a bit unfair. A little biased. A little insecure.... The victory is empty.

I have compared myself to others throughout the years of my young, brief life--and found myself too fat in the arms, not good enough of a musician, and not wise enough about Scripture. Of course, my nose, my hair, and my eyes weren't as nice as someone else either.

I am not a great runner and don't look like a model in a bathing suit.
I could lose the comparison battle daily, or...

I can choose not to compare and complain, but be consistently content. 

Contentment breeds peace
            and peace breeds rest
                and rest breeds happiness and fun
                     and happiness breeds beauty that radiates from within--
                          unstoppable, and not in need of special facial creams or hair dyes.

Everlasting beauty.

I encourage you to love yourself and see yourself for your gifts and talents rather than for your failures. We all have both, you know. I have known people who flourished when they stopped worrying about what others might be thinking of them and tried to follow the passions in their heart.

When we take the opinion of others out of the equation, we can more clearly decipher God's direction and His words for us. They are good. You are good. You were created for a purpose, and that purpose is not to try to be someone else.

I would love to know what YOU are good at.
Go ahead. Brag on yourself in the comments---Let's give you the praise you deserve. 
I'll start.............

Godly mothers don't yell "wooop wooooooop" in the kitchen

I want to be inspiring, but what I really am is Me.
Average, with spurts of greatness and dips of boring predictability.
Yet, still wonderful in eyes of God.

He made me.
He has a plan for me, a plan that accounts for my lack of perfection.
I have a use and a purpose in His Kingdom

Can I spill a little secret? I do random, loud, silly things in the privacy of my own kitchen. Sometimes I yell out "wooop woooooop" really loud. Sometimes I sing. Sometimes I make up very spontaneous, not well thought out rhymes for the kids. And it makes me happy!
God, who created me, knows I do these things. I am a just a bit silly.

And, I talk to myself in traffic.

I also love to investigate people's eye problems and try to help them with the practical solutions that I have studied. I have always wanted to be a doctor of some kind since I was a young girl. When I began studying about eyes, all the books made sense to me. I loved learning Science and Math. I hated History, and the only Napoleon I know is Dynamite.
It's like I was designed to be an Eye Doctor--and the more mature I become, the more my gifts show up in my daily life. Some days are wonderful, and I can meet the needs of the patient in front of me by listening, caring, and giving the best eye care and practical solutions for the needs they have. Other days, I am just average. I want to pray that every day I have a chance to be wonderful to someone that needs it by serving another person  in this world. I read this Bible verse in college one time and it grabbed my attention.

1 Peter 4:10 (NIV)

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.

Now, the commentaries tell me that this speaks of "spiritual gifts", but my heart heard from God that that day in college that if I have practical giftings, I should share them in the same way--to serve others and show God's grace to others. One of my roles is to be a knowledgeable, and listening eye care provider. To be the blessing that someone has been praying for, or to give an answer someone has been searching for. There are other roles for me as well; other gifts to share with my husband and children---since they aren't nearly as blessed when I put eye drops in their eyes. They prefer the hugs, encouraging words and cookies. Hmm.

But what if I were to try to be more like someone else? Someone I think is better than me or someone I admire. What if I mimic them rather than be fully me? Then the world might miss a unique reflection, a special recipe of the character of God, that would not be shown in my life.

Smart, responsible, Godly mothers don't yell "wooop wooooooop" in the kitchen. And certainly, never eye doctors.
Says who???
I know one who does.

goober mom

* photos are actually of the same woman.....I know you must have some like them of yourself. Minus the Arabic graffiti shirt

eye clinic project for Bedoins

Only listen to what God says about you:

He says you are wonderfully made and desired by Him  (Psalm 139: 14)
He says you have a plan and a purpose in this world (Jeremiah 29:11)
He has a place for you today in this world, with the ability to influence others for good.

He gave you a sense of humor. Maybe an awesome ability to average 20 digits in your brain. Maybe an uncanny ability to speak truth boldly. Perhaps you fix computers? (i need your number...)

I challenge you to find a way you can serve others with the gifts you have been given. See it as a chance to be the hands and feet of Jesus to someone.  It is OK if you feel the need to laugh or be funny, too. Sometimes the word "delight" is actually used in the Bible. It's not all weeping and praying, you know.

How can you be a unique reflection of God today? I would love to know more....