Growing Girls

So, one of the main joys/jobs/gifts in my life is raising four young ladies.

No boys. Tried, but no boys.

God knew what He was doing when he made our kids all XX chromosomes.

Being an only child, I really have never been around too many boys, anyhow, so I am thankful I grow girls in my garden.

My gardening principles--thus far--I suspect they change with experience--

1. Teaching obedience and respect--With my husband's help, we really tried to discipline the girls when they didn't obey when they were younger. Little spanking on the hiney when they disobeyed--especially after a few times in a row.  Things like that. As they grew older, it turned into grounding, and losing privileges such as the internet or TV.

Obedience is such a key factor, isn't it? We humans don't want to submit to authority, but we all should in some way, shape or form.  These girls of mine still need to obey and submit, and especially be honest. Lying has the strongest punishment in our house. And can't you usually tell when someone islying? That funny mouth twitch, that missing candy bar, that internet memory cache that tells you what sites were visited even though they deny it??. We parents ain't dumb. Plus, I think the Holy Spirit helps us be good detectives and notice things. He wants us to know the truth.

2. Self confidence--My husband always speaks small truths here and there to the girls. Such as, "You are so awesome" "Wow, you are so smart" "You are great". Small words go a long way in the garden. If they love themselves, they can love others. I feel sad when kids aren't confident in themselves, because it too often leads to mean words towards others which are based ( I suspect) out of comparison and jealousy. BOOOOO.

3. Trust in God--We model this for them, I hope, when we gather to pray as a financial need comes, or when a big change is on the horizon.  I started sharing my hopes and dreams with the older two girls one day, and it was sweet to be "friends" together, sharing my heart. That is a reward from all the younger years of loving and diapering and cooking. I should add that I still cook and love, but no longer diaper.

4. Encouraging them in their hobbies and interests-- This means me driving them to practices and paying for lessons, but it instills in them the self-confidence that I SO adore. I love these children and want them to know they can exceed in something. Whatever they choose. Self-confidence grows.

5. Fun times--One of my favorite things to do is take one of the four girls out occasionally for a date. I try to keep it cheap and go to get ice cream or a slush. Maybe shop with the older girls or go to a playground with the younger girls.  Half-price Sonic drinks were a hit when we were in the US. Now, they want to go to Starbucks with me. Not only do they feel special by going out, I get to go with them! We try to talk about something, but I'm not really the best at deep conversation. At least they know I love them.  I just think it keeps the avenues of the heart open for strong correction that I might need to give one day, or  teachable moments which happen when you least expect. The relationship must be strong, then you can say anything at any moment.

Lyd Squid showing ballet moves in the old Amman capital

6. Responsibility--I'm a bit overboard on this, but I truly want my kids to be responsible. I want to depend on them the way they depend on me.  I love love love when someone does what they say they will do. This is a re-run of obedience and respect in my opinion.  Chores done = happy mom. I love when other adults can rely on them as young ladies. It makes my heart happy when they are respectful and responsible with others. Whew.

So, I'm still testing out my principles. They aren't proven to be 100% effective yet. No money back guarantees, but I'm having a decently fun girl-growing experience.

Sonic, Starbucks, Serving one another--these are my water.

Self-Confident, Strong young ladies--theses are my flowers.

Just Say It

Speaking. 

It is a powerful gift that brings the thoughts and feelings stirring inside of us and gives them life. So many times I think nice thoughts, encouraging and sweet things, but they don't make it to my tongue. Just the other day I noticed an Arab co-worker's eye make up and how nicely all 5 colors were blended together.

OK--side note, for you Americans...Arab girl eye make up can be a 1 hour application affair.  They are serious about make-up and perfume, for that matter. Oh, and heels. Hair gel, too.  I diverge.....

Well, I couldn't get up the nerve to blurt out, "Hi. your eye makeup looks really nice!" I missed the opportunity to be a blessing and an encouragement.

I won't go into the other 10 missed opportunities I had the same day. (sigh). Being a slight introvert and internal processor, most all of my thoughts stay inside of my head.

Instead, I resolve to speak the truth more often. I must say what I feel and think in my heart and let others be blessed and encouraged.  I will change their day for the better with my spoken word. My husband is the best at this, bless his heart.

Also, you know what? Speaking out the truth when I'm discouraged helps break out of the downward spiral of the thoughts.  Today, after catching myself being overly sad about not having enough heat or gas, I said out loud to Mattie, "Yes, but God has not forsaken us."  Mattie thought I was crazy and said, "Of course not, Mom, I just said my toes were cold". However, this little honest cry of truth helped me and I noticed how much more at peace I felt right away. 

Silly little worrier, I am. (She says in her best Yoda Speak)


So, I begin to declare it: God is Good and He is For ME!  And, to be faithful in the small things, I must go tell my co-worker that I like her makeup, too.

Another kind of TO DO list

Psalm 118:24

This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it

Did David write this, or one of Korah's Kids?  Either way, we love it, don't we?

 

With every day, I want to wake up and be thankful. I want to find the beauty in the day and rejoice in it. Don't you know there will be boring stuff, hard things, responsibilities--but there will be joy IF we choose it.

So, I stink at this sometimes, and let small things like a dirty house or empty water tanks steal my joy.  I usually end up being "snarky" or snappy and hurt an unsuspecting someone's feelings who was just coming to ask me a small question.  Oh man. Then I see the result of my bad choices, the fruit of my selfish ways, and ---feel bad.  Then I need to apologize and hope that next time I am thankful for the smiling kids around me, or the doting husband who is in love with me. That is enough right there! But also, for God who saved me from my sins.

Do you ever stop and make a list of a few things you are thankful for? That helps me when it feels like so many other things are "hard" or " not fun". 

 

MY  honest list:

1.  My kids are thriving in another culture. That is amazing. Two of them speak Arabic better than  anyone foreigner I know, literally. Not a proud mama talking, but an observant woman.

2.  Did I mention my cute husband? He is great. So handsome and tenderhearted. I'll stop there to keep it from becoming a cheesy, gushy post,.

3.  I get to run in the hills of Amman. Cool.

4. Our car rarely breaks down. Because I've had one that did, this one is all the more rejoice-able!

5.  My parents are loving and support us. I know others can't always be thankful for that. Plus my Green family in-laws and the a sundry of cousins are so fun, too.

6. Diet coke 

7. One of my ears still works great!

8.  We have gas in our radiators, so we can warm the house.

9.  A fun job at a nice eye hospital here in Amman. I love to learn more and do more and help more. (and get paid more.  Hey, I said it was my honest list)

10.  Worship music that helps me refocus and remember the unseen God in this seeing-give-me-proof-driven world.  

So, I'm rejoicing today. 

I'm embracing the day the Lord made and being glad, even in I drive in Amman and the traffic is nuts. 

Even if I'm really cold when the rain pelts down.

 

Hey, If David could rejoice when enemies were throwing darts and trying to chase him off cliffs, then I can be OK waiting in traffic and looking at piles of laundry. 

 

I'll remind myself of my TO-BE-THANKFUL-FOR list.

 

My chance to speak

One life--We all have ONE life. ONE day that we are in presently. No worries about yesterday or tomorrow.  I guess I should tell you I don't believe in reincarnation.....

Two eyes--I have been an eyeball fanantic since 11th grade I think. God designed me in His infinite wisdom to love eyes and love helping others see. I dig it.

One chance--I have been trying to hear what God is leading me to do, and then actually do it. I imagine God gives second chances, but how great to obey the first time? If I'm a child of God, I hope to act better than my children do.  No offense, kids, but that whole asking-three-times-to-put-your-clothes-away bit is irritating to a parent.  So, likewise for my Father, I want to obey quickly.

Mainly, I want One Chance with my One Life to make a difference, to leave a size 8 footprint on this earth.


honestly, I actually do worry about yesterday and tomorrow, but I wish I didn't.

More later.
This baby is just taking off!