Mothering: how I learned what not to do

Hello Mothers and all you Others (a bit of rhyme to start your day off right!)

These are some of the things I learned not to do as a mother, but we won't tell how I acquired such wisdom:

1. Work overtime until 5:30 when the day care closes at 5:30 and is located a good 20 minutes away.  That speeding freeway time will be guilt ridden as you imagine your toddler's face waiting for you in the lobby with the last remaining disgruntled childcare worker. All waiting for you, the lame mom--who may or may not have been stopped by the police on the way for speeding..

2. Get worried every time they say "my tummy hurts".  You'll run to set up trash cans for emergency puke, you might toss and turn all night long waiting to hear the Noise We All Dread.  Or even worse, you might lose a night's sleep on the couch, when all they needed to do was toot or poop.

3. Ignore the preschooler's backpack which might contain papers you should read, such as: Our play is Thursday at 11.  Forgetting the small things when life is busy can really backfire. You never know what day, at what moment those special messages and special moments of talking face to face, heart to heart will come.


4. Purchase lots of gimmicky kids' foods that are "all natural".  You know what else is all natural? Homemade stuff and fruits and veggies.  I have some super easy recipes I've put in my arsenal to make quick easy homemade food.  Even cookies. Recipes will follow later.....next time.

5.  Insist they eat every kind of food you put in front of them at every meal, especially after a gag reflex incident has occurred with the same food previously. We have a bad pumpkin bread story in our family.  I know it could be a strong, stubborn will that is making the child not eat the veggies, or the mashed potatoes, but it could be they don't like them.  I mean, do you like every single food? Personally, I hate olives and Lima beans.  My kids have slowly changed their eating opinions as the years go on.  I just kept offering and kept asking them to try a little bite. Try a bite. Not eat every spoonful, but try a bite. Reward the bite with a fruit or dessert. It helps if I model healthy eating, too.

6 Change their clothes often during the day.  As long as we don't have poop or spit up on the outfit, the sweet baby can sleep and even continue to wear her romper the next day! Less laundry for the maid. Which is, me.

7.  Speaking of maids, I learned that hardly anyone can afford a maid in the US.  I thought to myself  "I'm a busy, working mom, with little time to clean. I'll call those Merry Maids and have them come out someday."  After my quote of $125 for the day plus travel time, I rethought my need for a super clean house.  We can all just pitch in daily and do a bit here and there. And, if you train them while they're young, children are wonderful helpers.

8  Speaking of children, I learned they forgive quickly and like it when we apologize for overreacting and yelling at them when we blow our fuses. Yes, I yell.  Yes, I can admit my wrongs to the kids and receive a sweet forgiving hug.  They may be our kids and we can be tempted to boss them around like property, but they are also God's children that deserve equal opportunities for kindness.  I would never yell and not apologize to anyone else, so I should especially not do this for my own children.

They say mistakes are the best opportunities to learn, right? Well, I'm learning more every day then.