God knew what He was doing when he made our kids all XX chromosomes.
Being an only child, I really have never been around too many boys, anyhow, so I am thankful I grow girls in my garden.
My gardening principles--thus far--I suspect they change with experience--
1. Teaching obedience and respect--With my husband's help, we really tried to discipline the girls when they didn't obey when they were younger. Little spanking on the hiney when they disobeyed--especially after a few times in a row. Things like that. As they grew older, it turned into grounding, and losing privileges such as the internet or TV.
Obedience is such a key factor, isn't it? We humans don't want to submit to authority, but we all should in some way, shape or form. These girls of mine still need to obey and submit, and especially be honest. Lying has the strongest punishment in our house. And can't you usually tell when someone islying? That funny mouth twitch, that missing candy bar, that internet memory cache that tells you what sites were visited even though they deny it??. We parents ain't dumb. Plus, I think the Holy Spirit helps us be good detectives and notice things. He wants us to know the truth.
2. Self confidence--My husband always speaks small truths here and there to the girls. Such as, "You are so awesome" "Wow, you are so smart" "You are great". Small words go a long way in the garden. If they love themselves, they can love others. I feel sad when kids aren't confident in themselves, because it too often leads to mean words towards others which are based ( I suspect) out of comparison and jealousy. BOOOOO.
3. Trust in God--We model this for them, I hope, when we gather to pray as a financial need comes, or when a big change is on the horizon. I started sharing my hopes and dreams with the older two girls one day, and it was sweet to be "friends" together, sharing my heart. That is a reward from all the younger years of loving and diapering and cooking. I should add that I still cook and love, but no longer diaper. 4. Encouraging them in their hobbies and interests-- This means me driving them to practices and paying for lessons, but it instills in them the self-confidence that I SO adore. I love these children and want them to know they can exceed in something. Whatever they choose. Self-confidence grows.
5. Fun times--One of my favorite things to do is take one of the four girls out occasionally for a date. I try to keep it cheap and go to get ice cream or a slush. Maybe shop with the older girls or go to a playground with the younger girls. Half-price Sonic drinks were a hit when we were in the US. Now, they want to go to Starbucks with me. Not only do they feel special by going out, I get to go with them! We try to talk about something, but I'm not really the best at deep conversation. At least they know I love them. I just think it keeps the avenues of the heart open for strong correction that I might need to give one day, or teachable moments which happen when you least expect. The relationship must be strong, then you can say anything at any moment.
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| Lyd Squid showing ballet moves in the old Amman capital |
6. Responsibility--I'm a bit overboard on this, but I truly want my kids to be responsible. I want to depend on them the way they depend on me. I love love love when someone does what they say they will do. This is a re-run of obedience and respect in my opinion. Chores done = happy mom. I love when other adults can rely on them as young ladies. It makes my heart happy when they are respectful and responsible with others. Whew.
So, I'm still testing out my principles. They aren't proven to be 100% effective yet. No money back guarantees, but I'm having a decently fun girl-growing experience.
Sonic, Starbucks, Serving one another--these are my water.
Self-Confident, Strong young ladies--theses are my flowers.
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