How does 'beautiful' feel?

I notice my nails. I need a manicure.
I look at my face. I need to scrub my skin, moisturize my wrinkles, and trim my hair.

Me me me me me memememe

If I'm looking for a way to sink into a hole of self-consuming thoughts and focus on the faults of my body--that will do it. 

Looking into mirrors and trying to find faults.

The teeth can be whiter, and the list goes on.

There is rarely enough to be done to be perfect, because the standard changes with what society tells us is perfect.

What if we didn't care what beautiful looked like and instead focused on what beautiful feels like?

Beautiful feels like.....

happiness.

smiles.

contentment.

peace.

 

Especially raising girls, whom the world will eventually try to tell are too fat, too tall, too short, with hair too straight--I find it IMPERATIVE....that's right, I'm saying imperative....to focus on the strength of character that it takes to be beautiful from the inside out. I try to reinforce good hygiene (yea, me!) but more than that, we encourage kindness, sharing, acts of service. And, it begins at home.  When we hear unkind or critical speech amongst the girls, or undue whining--it is our job to talk to them about loving one another. Yes, I would rather ignore it and keep doing my thang, but my responsibility as their mother/role model is to instill love and confidence in them, and I can't allow our home to be a place where they feel attacked verbally.  

• Inner beauty takes longer to develop than beauty outside. It is more valuable, and it can't be destroyed as quickly.
• Inner beauty doesn't change with who's famous in Hollywood right now. Loving people are always cool.
• Inner beauty is attractive to others, because it draws other in, rather than pushes them away. Outer beauty tends to compare, but inner beauty tend to accept.
• Inner beauty truly does affect the outer shell as well. Smiles, a softness, a self-confidence that cannot be mimicked by hair dye and a manicure. Nor a fad diet.

Even if you aren't raising young ladies, you can focus on increasing the inner beauty God gave you. Before you work out your muscles, don't forget to "tend to your garden" and water your heart. Go without make up and a fancy hair-do if you must, but don't go without resting in the peace that passes all understanding. For me,  this can mean reading my Jesus Calling devo book (I have a link in an earlier post) and listening to some of my favorite worship music (see some of my links on side of page).  I sometimes sit near a window and think. I definitely need to quiet my worrying heart and listen for where God is asking me to serve another person, or step out and do something special today.  If I dare, I ask God what areas are ugly in my heart and need to change.  Inner beauty--

We are ugly in areas of our sin, and we need help to be more like Jesus. Day by day, 

2 Corinthians 3:18 says,  "And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord"

PS: We all have extra fat somewhere. Get over it. You are still beautiful and handsome.

Spitters never win

Scenario from this morning in Amman--

Driving to Starbucks in an residential neighborhood
Two young teenage boys cross the street in front of my car.
I slow and motion for them to pass
Politely.

One of them turns and spits on my windshield as I drive past them.

What in the world could have incited him to do such a thing?

Spite? Hatred? Anger?

The only thing I can figure is that because I was female or a foreigner. Either way, a puny reason to spit. (IMO: there is never a good reason to spit except at the dentist)  He didn't see my clothing, nor could he tell my nationality for him to pass a judgment on me, other than the two seconds he saw me as I waved them on in front of my car.

Isn't it outrageous?  After being irritated for 5 seconds, I sprayed water on the windshield and washed away the undeserved evidence. I didn't roll down my window and yell at him or anything, because the battle for this young man is bigger than correcting his actions of spitting at my car.

Somehow, he believes lies about who he is and what is worthy of praise.  Some people actually believe that just because you are female, that deserves spitting. Or of a different race. Or class of society. Or religion.
Either way, they are all incorrect assumptions. I hurt for someone so tangled up on the inside they think that spitting on someone else makes them higher up in society than others. This young man needs another young man to walk with him and teach him the ways of God.  I have a suspicion that his parents aren't involved in shaping his character.

Trey is reading a book , which I'm hesitant to read, about the early believers and the persecution they underwent.  Being spit upon would have been an easy day for them, it seems. Trey phrased it, "they really didn't love their lives unto death"  That is taken from Revelation 12, but it seems a bit hard to understand. What I understand is: The believers of old loved their Lord so much, that the love of their own lives/ safety/ worldly security was secondary to their love of serving God.  Beautiful....

How can we make loving the Lord our first priority every day? I don't have the answers,but I would think the answer lies within you. Just ask and see what He says. Someone might be asked to reach out to the youth of this nation and teach them not to spit. Or cuss. Or tease people.

I hope you and I both try to love our own lives a bit less today.

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.

Waffles--Everybody loves waffles! (Or does nobody waffle like I do?)

Waffles.
If you choose to read further, you'll see how this all relates because of the beauty of the English Language.


So, when the Shrek movies came out, I remember sitting in the theater with Trey, laughing SO hard with my knees pulled up to my chest. Donkey, especially, really said very funny things with lots of excitable utterances. I almost purchased a stuffed Donkey one year at Christmas.
Decided against it.
Thankfully, I rewatch these moves every now and then on DVD with the kids. Click the link for an 11 second byte of waffles.

That waffle byte fun and calorie-free, but I would like to share with you more than my Shrek memories

I think I finally learned that I am nobody.

A paradoxical thought, because I truly believe I am somebody.

What?

Yes. You might as well stop reading this jibberish.
Why is this post about waffles but not really? Have you been tricked?

Let us rephrase--

I am a nobody in these ways:

1. I don't have all the answers
2. I am not the only person who can do a job well
3. If I had to leave my place here in my country, or in my current job, someone else could and would come along and fill my position.

Yet, I am truly a somebody in these ways:

1. God created me for a purpose and I can exhibit His gifts in me to the world around me.
2. I am super important to my family. I am a somebody of great worth to them.
3. I can love others and show them how God loves them through my actions.

I waffle between these two extremes at times, thinking I have all the answers and no one can explain post-operative refractive surgery directions like I can.  (Put this medicine in your eye.... I mean, really.  How hard is my job?  What am I even thinking?)  Then, there are days, when I don't even feel like I have a purpose much outside of cooking and cleaning the house over and over again.

So--as in many things in life, I come to rest on the obvious fact that the truth lies in between. I am a somebody, yet a nobody.

The danger in falling completely on one side or the other is that I become riddled with  Pride or Worthlessness depending on which waffle I'm waffling with that day.
Belgian or American.
I say we choose NEITHER waffle and opt for muffins.

Live in the balance of knowing our worth, yet recognizing our insignificance.
Being willing and humble servants, yet bold warriors as we go forth in this world.

Happy Waffling!



Homonym - a word the same as another in sound and spelling but different in meaning
waffle:  (noun) A light crisp battercake baked in a waffle iron.
waffle: (verb) To vacillate; or to pause or hold back in uncertainty or unwillingness

WELL DONE: more than meat. A mother's committment to change.

Have you wondered what your family likes about you? How about what they don't like---don't want to hear that one so much.
I can see some things I do that the girls like. Then, I see how some of my words pierce their heart and wound them.  I try to say "sorry" when I see them hurting. Years ago, I was slower to apologize, and now I'm just....less slow. I have a ways to go till Jesus gives me the "well done, good and faithful servant" speech.

I asked each one of the girls a couple of questions.

What do I do for you that makes you feel loved?

What did I do to you that hurt you? 

It is not fun to see the ways my wrongs are displayed here, but in all honesty, here we go!

Camryn Leigh
Age 12.5
Nickname Cammie, Cam, Camma Lamma Ding Dong

Q: What is something I did that made you feel loved and happy?

A: When you had such a busy week and you still let me throw a party with my friends. You didn't surrender to your tiredness because you wanted to help me and let me have a fun time.

Q: What is one thing you wish I hadn't done

A: When we were all making Christmas cookies together one year and we spilled flour. You got mad and threw a cookie cutter, it broke, and I was scared because I thought you were gonna throw me.

Yes, dear. I am sorry. A big "low five" to mom on that one. Ruin the happy-joy Christmas memories.


Mattie Marcell
Age 14
Nickname:  Mattie Tattie, Mat

Q:  What is something I do that you like? Something that makes you feel loved?

A: When you drive me places. You are willing to do things for me, even though you are busy

Q: What is something that you don't like?

A: That you always want the house clean, and if it's not, you tend to get mad at people.

Shoot. I really do want the house clean, but need to prioritize loving the kids over cleaning.

Both older daughters laughed when they remembered this next incident of overreaction.

Q: What is a time when I overreacted

A:  When were all 3 hanging out laundry out on our back balcony. Socks kept flying down below to the neighbor's dog. You got really mad and threw a hanger at the tree. It is still there after 2 years--even through snow, hail, sleet, rain, dust storms, wind --everything!

Great. The proof remains to remind me of my overreaction. Seriously. I see the hanger stuck in the tall cedar tree and giggle now.

Lora Gayle
Age: 9
Nickname: Chicken Wing, Lora Bora

Q: What is something that I do that you like and makes you feel loved?

A:  You always spend time with me and make me laugh by saying "woop wooooop!"


Q: What makes you feel sad and when you don't feel loved

A:  When you yell at us to do chores and we don't know what to do. You yell at us when we are trying our best.

There goes the chores again. I knew I had been over-emphasizing chores. I like things clean, but I need to like my kids more. Mom Fail--yelling when she is trying to do her best. Ouch.

Lydia Anastasia
Age 7
Nickname: Lyd Squid, Lyddie, Lyds


Q: What makes you feel happy and loved?
A:  Well, I like about you that you go on dates and you love us. You make food for us.


Q: What is something I did that made you feel sad?
A: Well,  a long time ago you yelled at me that I was the last one to get dressed after school.  It made me feel like I was the last one in your heart. It made me sad.

In no way did I intend that. I meant she was last to obey, not last in my heart. But the enemy tricked her into hearing more. Thank goodness we resolved this one right away. I remember this day.


I see where I have missed the mark. I pray to change and become less focused on chores. Not throwing them out altogether, though. Hey--I'm teaching responsibility and respect here, too. But, less yelling would be nice.
I am thankful to see how they feel loved--each one is unique. Some appreciate the acts of service and some appreciate the quality time. I know better how to best spend my love to get the biggest impact. I am certain I need all the help I can get, with all the yelling and throwing I seem to do. I never considered myself much of a thrower, but the times I do leave a bad mark on my reputation.

Do you have questions you can ask your loved ones?
Honest feedback is revealing--it may hurt or sting your self-image, but then you can realize your shortcomings and change. For the better.

Well done, good and faithful servant.  

That is the prize!

"Hell up" mentality

When what you already have just isn't enough, its time to re-evaluate your standards.

When you find yourself longing for tomorrow and wishing you could re-live yesterday instead of enjoying today, you miss the simple in-and-out breathing of today.

Every breath

counts

Every day is precious--today, even
Every life makes a difference--yours, most definitely.

If you think I'm waxing eloquent, you might ask someone who has fought a life-threatening illness how precious every day, every moment, every breath seems--when the possibility of losing them is eminent.

I recently "suffered" in a steam room with my daughter and her friends. I joke because I was having a great time chaperoning the teens.  However, the steam was oppressive!  It just kept rolling in thicker and thicker until I couldn't see the people around me, and was breathing a a heavy, moist air...until someone opened the door to the outside and fresh, cold air poured in. Oh, to breathe again! I was so thankful to have that outside air--air that I breathed just minutes before without even considering it. It made me chuckle at how we don't appreciate something until we've been deprived of it for a season, or 5 minutes--as it was in my steam room.

One Ramadan here in Jordan, my friends and I fasted as prescribed by the Muslim faith, so we could share in the lifestyle of our friends who were doing the same thing.  No food or drink from sunup till sundown. I have never been more thankful for water in my life than at sundown that month.  Normally, I pine for Diet Coke, or bread products when I fast--but as water was denied me, I cried out for what was once so common. 

Is there something in your life so common that you forget to thank God for it? It helps me to just look around and thank God every now and then. Some other moms I know have said "the mounds of laundry and dishes remind me to thank God I have healthy kids". Come to think of it, my own mother never loved dirty laundry as much as my Freshman year at Baylor when I'd come home to visit.  

I am reminded to be aware of the preciousness of everyday life, being thankful for it all. Even trials--these trials serve to deepen our character and make us thankful for the things we once took for granted.
In the Bible, the book of James speaks much on this matter-

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

Our pastor, Jimmy, coined the phrase "Hell up mentality," which means: being a sinner, I deserve Hell, so everything I get to experience is better than the Hell I actually deserve. When Hell is on one side of the scale, everything else starts to look reeeaaaal good compared to the alternative.  

So I ask myself, and I ask you...

What is good today?

Where is God blessing you?

Have you thanked God for being your provider, protector, and providing us with more than we deserve?

There is never a better time than the present to begin.

No regrets!!!!